ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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