he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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