That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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