If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I enjoy the company of your penis
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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