Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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