I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
