I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
