OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
