I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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