Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
