if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
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He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Dick very happy bro
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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