Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
