I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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