We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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