Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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