so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
