this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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