So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I am midnight drunk by noon
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
