we made out on top of his cat.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
