marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
