nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
