you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
