Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
