yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
