Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
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apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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