so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
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The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
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Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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