He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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