i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If I die, sorry about rent.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Pooping to opera.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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