i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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