funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
