The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
