Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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