turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
