Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
