go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
