Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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