Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
