I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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