You work out of a Hotel?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize