I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
