i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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