yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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