Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
