just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Randomize
