It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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