i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
