No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
