names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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