well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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