I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
