Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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