why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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