he shaved USA in his pubs
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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