Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
