So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize