what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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