like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
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I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
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I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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