I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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