How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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