what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize