Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
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she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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