i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
