But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
