I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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