i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
