in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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